Friday, March 13, 2009

Winnng Back An Old Girlfriend

By Joseph Matthews

Sometimes you don't realize what you had until it's gone, and many men can say that after a break-up.

It's rough when there is a girl that you really like makes the decision to move on, stating that it's not working out. When this happens you have two choices...

1. Move on and find a new girl

2. Try and recover the girl he lost

Certainly, the better option is the first one, since people usually break up for a reason. Trying to convince someone who doesn't want to be with you that they should be is an uphill battle, and one where you most likely will lose.

But that doesn't stop us from trying, does it? Because typically, the first thing a guy does after he gets dumped (and after moping around a bit) is try to figure out how to get back the girl who dumped him.

Sometimes, break ups are a good thing. But sometimes, they happen because of reasons that could have been fixed or avoided all together.

If you are going to win her back, you'll have to find out what killed the relationship to begin with. Most of the time, it has to do with not communicating, or a loss of trust between you and her.

More often than not, when there is a situation that arises from communication, she'll feel neglected or ignored. It's going to be frustrating to her, as she'll feel like she's not really being listened to.

Trust is lost when she feels like he's done something that brings into question his love for her. A bond is broken, whether it is from him cheating on her, lying to her, or committing some other form of dishonest behavior.

When this happens, intimacy can be lost, and the girl will feel the need to move on.

So after you figure out what caused the break up, you'll need to understand WHY. So if you determine she was feeling neglected by you, you need to figure out why you were neglecting her (or at least why she felt you were!).

Then you need to let her know that you understand why she broke up with you. This is probably one of the hardest things for guys to do, because it seems like you're accepting the blame for messing things up - but its important that women understand you know why they broke up with you, because is shows that you are paying attention to their side of things.

Once you make it clear you understand her side of things, and what caused her to break up with you, you are clearing the way for you to re-build intimacy with her.

When this happens, you'll want to start reminding her why she got into a relationship with you in the first place. Be the charming guy you were when you first met her. Talk about your past dates, your good times together. Focus on all the happy moments the two of you shared.

Try and re-kindle what got her attracted to you in the first place, and nurture that. Don't be too aggressive, but remind her how great of a guy you are.

After some period of warming up, you'll need to make a move. Hopefully, she'll have remembered why you two were together to begin with. Bring up the idea of getting back together. She'll be hesitant but you'll need to impress on her that things WILL be different, and you'll focus more on her happiness this time around.

You have to remember that you can't really push the issue of getting back together on her. Just try making your intentions clear and allow her the opportunity to give it a shot. This is as good a way as possible to get her back. - 15437

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