Recently I wrote that verbal flirting is just a small portion of overall flirting.
And I meant it. Unfortunately, a good portion of men don't understand this, and they blow it before they even speak to a woman.
So we need to make sure that doesn't happen to you. Let's take a look at some parts of the equation of flirting here.
Generally, flirting starts with eye contact.
So say you look at a girl, and she looks directly back at you. Wow, that can be uncomfortable huh? That depends entirely on you and how you feel about yourself.
If you feel good about yourself, then this is exhilarating. If that's not the case, it can be really scary.
Let's just say you are comfortable with yourself. The rush happens, and she holds the gaze a bit too long. This generally is a good sign.
If she doesn't meet your gaze, then it probably means she's not interested. Or, it could mean she's very shy or insecure in her surroundings. Many people are intimidated by large clubs. She might be.
Take a look and see how she's reacting to others. If she isn't making eye contact, then she might just be that way.
Going forward, let's see what she does with the eye contact. Does she break it, but look again quickly? That's a good sign, but don't be in a hurry to go talk.
If she smiles, it's a VERY good sign!
Before you rush in and start looking for the signs, take some time to learn this process. Often, we'll have the wrong of it when starting something new, as we have an idea of how these situations work, but don't really know them. Take the time to learn about this.
Sometimes, you'll get a full on stare and smile, but when you arrive, you'll get a cold response. This is NOT your fault, so don't think you did something wrong.
What happened there? I can't say, but I can make an educated guess based on the surroundings. Sometimes women are incorrigible flirts who are actually in a relationship. They just like the thrill of flirting, and their men don't mind. And so on and so forth.
Take a positive position with what you did. That's the key to success throughout the flirting stage.
Once you reach the flirtee, you should initiate the conversation. You know she's at least interested in speaking to you, so don't worry about "blowing it". That will only lead to a self fulfilling prophecy.
After the introduction, when you start to speak, there is an interaction between you and her that is natural, and is accepted almost universally. Once you begin speaking, eye contact will be broken by the speaker, looking back when it feels natural. Overall, when you are speaking, you'll be looking at her half the time, give or take. Keep it short, as this is bantering, and gaze at her when you are done speaking. That's the cue for her to talk.
At that point, she'll more than likely respond the same way. Now, when she is speaking, glance at her more than you were while talking. This shows you are interested in what she is saying. Make the looks brief, but you should be looking at her about two thirds of the time while she's talking.
It does require some practice. Put in your hours though, and you'll be able to use your eyes as well as any pickup artist out there. And it will definitely change your perspective on flirting!
Coming soon, I'll have more articles to broaden your perspective of non verbal flirting. Thanks for reading! - 15437
And I meant it. Unfortunately, a good portion of men don't understand this, and they blow it before they even speak to a woman.
So we need to make sure that doesn't happen to you. Let's take a look at some parts of the equation of flirting here.
Generally, flirting starts with eye contact.
So say you look at a girl, and she looks directly back at you. Wow, that can be uncomfortable huh? That depends entirely on you and how you feel about yourself.
If you feel good about yourself, then this is exhilarating. If that's not the case, it can be really scary.
Let's just say you are comfortable with yourself. The rush happens, and she holds the gaze a bit too long. This generally is a good sign.
If she doesn't meet your gaze, then it probably means she's not interested. Or, it could mean she's very shy or insecure in her surroundings. Many people are intimidated by large clubs. She might be.
Take a look and see how she's reacting to others. If she isn't making eye contact, then she might just be that way.
Going forward, let's see what she does with the eye contact. Does she break it, but look again quickly? That's a good sign, but don't be in a hurry to go talk.
If she smiles, it's a VERY good sign!
Before you rush in and start looking for the signs, take some time to learn this process. Often, we'll have the wrong of it when starting something new, as we have an idea of how these situations work, but don't really know them. Take the time to learn about this.
Sometimes, you'll get a full on stare and smile, but when you arrive, you'll get a cold response. This is NOT your fault, so don't think you did something wrong.
What happened there? I can't say, but I can make an educated guess based on the surroundings. Sometimes women are incorrigible flirts who are actually in a relationship. They just like the thrill of flirting, and their men don't mind. And so on and so forth.
Take a positive position with what you did. That's the key to success throughout the flirting stage.
Once you reach the flirtee, you should initiate the conversation. You know she's at least interested in speaking to you, so don't worry about "blowing it". That will only lead to a self fulfilling prophecy.
After the introduction, when you start to speak, there is an interaction between you and her that is natural, and is accepted almost universally. Once you begin speaking, eye contact will be broken by the speaker, looking back when it feels natural. Overall, when you are speaking, you'll be looking at her half the time, give or take. Keep it short, as this is bantering, and gaze at her when you are done speaking. That's the cue for her to talk.
At that point, she'll more than likely respond the same way. Now, when she is speaking, glance at her more than you were while talking. This shows you are interested in what she is saying. Make the looks brief, but you should be looking at her about two thirds of the time while she's talking.
It does require some practice. Put in your hours though, and you'll be able to use your eyes as well as any pickup artist out there. And it will definitely change your perspective on flirting!
Coming soon, I'll have more articles to broaden your perspective of non verbal flirting. Thanks for reading! - 15437
About the Author:
Joseph Matthews has been instructing guys how to meet women since 2004, and is widely recognized as an authority in the subject of confidence building and dating advice. If you want to discover more about how to meet women, check out his free newsletter.
