Several men I've met are deeply confused about flirting. They have tried, and get negative responses that come from out of nowhere. What most of them failed to see is the critical choice of their timing and location had in their chance for success!
Too often we don't pay attention to where we are. I know guys who make passes at grieving widows at a funeral. It seems like a forgone conclusion, but it's really easy to get caught in the moment and forget ourselves.
The OPPOSITE is also true, and many men forget this. Many men have become so uptight that they forget to flirt at times when it IS appropriate. Some women are this way too! There are several factors that lead to this, but let's look at the WHEN and WHERE first.
The first is a party, particularly a party of cultural significance (think Christmas or New Years). Some festivals are the same. I'm sure you've seen this before - inhibition flies out the door for some people at these times, and the party gets wild. Some carnivals are notorious for this - Mardi Gras comes to mind, as does Carnivale. You are EXPECTED to abandon much of your inhibition.
So wow, acting with abandon is actually okay? Well, somewhat. There is an etiquette to all of this, but it might just be reversing of everything you know.
The next acceptable place to flirt would be just about any place that serves alcohol. There are a few more rules for flirting at drinking establishments, however. The first is knowing the area around you.
If you are at the bar, standing, then it is considered more "public". The further away you get from the bar, the more "private" it becomes, particularly if you are seated. A dance floor is the obvious exception.
One thing to note is that a restaurant, despite serving alcohol, will have a different set of norms attached to it. In general, flirting between couples is acceptable, but strangers should abstain.
Schools are great for flirting. One might expect it - pop culture dictates this is as well through songs, and movies. It's a known and expected tradition.
College marks the dawn of the mate selection process that a woman undergoes. She is helped along by the commonality of the lifestyle being shared by most people around her.
You aren't in school anymore? Try a weekend class every once in awhile in something that interests you. You might find some great opportunities there.
Another more acceptable place is the workplace, but I urge you err on the side of caution here. The rules of each place is different. There might be certain times in which it is okay (after work), and places (by the coffee machine, etc..). And most importantly, with WHO.
Overall, it's important to find out the norms of this for your own workplace. The best thing to do is watch other people at your work; experienced men should have become more acquainted with the norms, so find a few of those and observe them to get a quick idea.
The next place that comes to mind is a group sport. This one creates a conundrum - while you might be enthusiastic about the sport, if you both take it seriously, it might not be the place to flirt. It interrupts the focus and can come across as innapropriate at THAT time. Try during off hours at a better place.
If you are very casual about it, it's a great time to flirt, with the added bonus of your adrenaline going - it will heighten things.
Those are some very basic places, but think of them in the broader sense, and you will understand.
Learn this etiquette. Observe others, take the time, but do it. You'll come to see how true this all is. When and where you flirt is integral to success, as well as knowing that at times, you are EXPECTED to flirt!
Hopefully, this will lead to more bold flirting and behavior, and that in turn leads to a healthier dating life! - 15437
Too often we don't pay attention to where we are. I know guys who make passes at grieving widows at a funeral. It seems like a forgone conclusion, but it's really easy to get caught in the moment and forget ourselves.
The OPPOSITE is also true, and many men forget this. Many men have become so uptight that they forget to flirt at times when it IS appropriate. Some women are this way too! There are several factors that lead to this, but let's look at the WHEN and WHERE first.
The first is a party, particularly a party of cultural significance (think Christmas or New Years). Some festivals are the same. I'm sure you've seen this before - inhibition flies out the door for some people at these times, and the party gets wild. Some carnivals are notorious for this - Mardi Gras comes to mind, as does Carnivale. You are EXPECTED to abandon much of your inhibition.
So wow, acting with abandon is actually okay? Well, somewhat. There is an etiquette to all of this, but it might just be reversing of everything you know.
The next acceptable place to flirt would be just about any place that serves alcohol. There are a few more rules for flirting at drinking establishments, however. The first is knowing the area around you.
If you are at the bar, standing, then it is considered more "public". The further away you get from the bar, the more "private" it becomes, particularly if you are seated. A dance floor is the obvious exception.
One thing to note is that a restaurant, despite serving alcohol, will have a different set of norms attached to it. In general, flirting between couples is acceptable, but strangers should abstain.
Schools are great for flirting. One might expect it - pop culture dictates this is as well through songs, and movies. It's a known and expected tradition.
College marks the dawn of the mate selection process that a woman undergoes. She is helped along by the commonality of the lifestyle being shared by most people around her.
You aren't in school anymore? Try a weekend class every once in awhile in something that interests you. You might find some great opportunities there.
Another more acceptable place is the workplace, but I urge you err on the side of caution here. The rules of each place is different. There might be certain times in which it is okay (after work), and places (by the coffee machine, etc..). And most importantly, with WHO.
Overall, it's important to find out the norms of this for your own workplace. The best thing to do is watch other people at your work; experienced men should have become more acquainted with the norms, so find a few of those and observe them to get a quick idea.
The next place that comes to mind is a group sport. This one creates a conundrum - while you might be enthusiastic about the sport, if you both take it seriously, it might not be the place to flirt. It interrupts the focus and can come across as innapropriate at THAT time. Try during off hours at a better place.
If you are very casual about it, it's a great time to flirt, with the added bonus of your adrenaline going - it will heighten things.
Those are some very basic places, but think of them in the broader sense, and you will understand.
Learn this etiquette. Observe others, take the time, but do it. You'll come to see how true this all is. When and where you flirt is integral to success, as well as knowing that at times, you are EXPECTED to flirt!
Hopefully, this will lead to more bold flirting and behavior, and that in turn leads to a healthier dating life! - 15437
About the Author:
Joseph Matthews has been instructing guys how to meet women since 2004, and is widely known as an expert in the field of confidence building and dating advice. If you want to learn more about how to meet women, check out his complimentary newsletter.
