There is something that has happened to me, that quite possibly has happened to you too. I'm out at a bar, nice night, and an even nicer woman approaches. Smoking hot, and she's flirting up a storm. I'm in for a good night, or so I think. I notice something on her finger.
A wedding ring.
Questions start swirling in my head, but I primarily want to know what she is thinking, being married and acting like this.
This can and will happen though. Why do married people flirt? From what information I've gathered, it normally comes down to boredom and neglect, and with latter, revenge is often the motive.
Other times, the woman feels safe playing around with the risk, because she knows if things go too far, she can point at her ring, feign innocence and say "sorry, I'm married!" It can be annoying as hell, no doubt.
Now, I don't think I have to go into detail about what a pissed off husband can do. I think everyone knows full well the risks. Even with some of the advice I'll give in the article later, there will still be some risk involved. Be cautious first.
The next question comes down to the moral issue of it. Some guys don't care who they are screwing around with. Others apply the golden rule - I wouldn't want it done to me, so I don't do it to others. I won't tell you which morality to uphold, that's up to you. Personally, I don't deal with the situation, because I have an abundance of beautiful single women in my life.
That aside, if you DO decide to pursue a married woman, there are a few things you should be ready for. Here's what they are, and how to handle any issues that arise.
First, you are dealing with a person who isn't thinking in terms of fairness. She is putting herself first. Her husband wasn't considered in the equation. Do you think you will be? It's doubtful.
I recommend bringing up the issue right off the bat. Many guys would tell you not to, for fear of blowing it, but you shouldn't worry about that. Getting to common ground is more important.
A simple question like "so what's up with the ring?' can suffice. If you are pressing like you don't care when you ask it, it won't allow the situation to a make or break point.
You can gauge her answers from there. If you are a "safety flirt", she'll vanish, and thereby saved you some time. Those situations aren't going anywhere regardless.
If it goes past that, then you'll need to pay some attention to what she's saying to you. She might ask if it matters to you. Obviously, if it's gotten to this point, it doesn't. Let her know, but also ask where it is going to go.
Some women might balk there too. You are eliminating some of the risk of the game for her, and that can be fun. It's also forcing her to look directly at what she's doing. Believe me though, it's for the better.
If things continue, generally I'd say you are in. Just keep your eyes peeled. Watch for some guy who is staring at you, etc.
I'd also recommend taking the time to objectively analyze the situation. Is she secretive? Is she blabbering about how much she hates her husband? Try to get a general idea of WHY she's doing this.
All the above is about safety measures. After that, if things are still going, I'd recommend keeping it to a quick fling. Odds are, it's not going anywhere anyhow.
There is a chance she'll reconcile. That means the relationship is probably done. And if she gets conscious of the whole thing, you might find yourself in the crosshairs of the angry husband. The best bet is to have as little attachment to her as possible. In all ways. You don't want her knowing where you live, who you hang out with, etc.. Careful if the pickup spot was a regular hangout for you. You might have to quit going there.
And whatever you do, DO NOT get emotionally attached to her. It can't end well. If you do, and things continue, you might end up in a physical altercation. And even if you are the toughest man on the planet, I don't recommend it. Ask yourself, do these things EVER end up being worth it? I've never seen it.
It sounds like a lot to remember, but you need to know this. It's more important, at the end of the day, to be breathing, than it is to score a fling. - 15437
A wedding ring.
Questions start swirling in my head, but I primarily want to know what she is thinking, being married and acting like this.
This can and will happen though. Why do married people flirt? From what information I've gathered, it normally comes down to boredom and neglect, and with latter, revenge is often the motive.
Other times, the woman feels safe playing around with the risk, because she knows if things go too far, she can point at her ring, feign innocence and say "sorry, I'm married!" It can be annoying as hell, no doubt.
Now, I don't think I have to go into detail about what a pissed off husband can do. I think everyone knows full well the risks. Even with some of the advice I'll give in the article later, there will still be some risk involved. Be cautious first.
The next question comes down to the moral issue of it. Some guys don't care who they are screwing around with. Others apply the golden rule - I wouldn't want it done to me, so I don't do it to others. I won't tell you which morality to uphold, that's up to you. Personally, I don't deal with the situation, because I have an abundance of beautiful single women in my life.
That aside, if you DO decide to pursue a married woman, there are a few things you should be ready for. Here's what they are, and how to handle any issues that arise.
First, you are dealing with a person who isn't thinking in terms of fairness. She is putting herself first. Her husband wasn't considered in the equation. Do you think you will be? It's doubtful.
I recommend bringing up the issue right off the bat. Many guys would tell you not to, for fear of blowing it, but you shouldn't worry about that. Getting to common ground is more important.
A simple question like "so what's up with the ring?' can suffice. If you are pressing like you don't care when you ask it, it won't allow the situation to a make or break point.
You can gauge her answers from there. If you are a "safety flirt", she'll vanish, and thereby saved you some time. Those situations aren't going anywhere regardless.
If it goes past that, then you'll need to pay some attention to what she's saying to you. She might ask if it matters to you. Obviously, if it's gotten to this point, it doesn't. Let her know, but also ask where it is going to go.
Some women might balk there too. You are eliminating some of the risk of the game for her, and that can be fun. It's also forcing her to look directly at what she's doing. Believe me though, it's for the better.
If things continue, generally I'd say you are in. Just keep your eyes peeled. Watch for some guy who is staring at you, etc.
I'd also recommend taking the time to objectively analyze the situation. Is she secretive? Is she blabbering about how much she hates her husband? Try to get a general idea of WHY she's doing this.
All the above is about safety measures. After that, if things are still going, I'd recommend keeping it to a quick fling. Odds are, it's not going anywhere anyhow.
There is a chance she'll reconcile. That means the relationship is probably done. And if she gets conscious of the whole thing, you might find yourself in the crosshairs of the angry husband. The best bet is to have as little attachment to her as possible. In all ways. You don't want her knowing where you live, who you hang out with, etc.. Careful if the pickup spot was a regular hangout for you. You might have to quit going there.
And whatever you do, DO NOT get emotionally attached to her. It can't end well. If you do, and things continue, you might end up in a physical altercation. And even if you are the toughest man on the planet, I don't recommend it. Ask yourself, do these things EVER end up being worth it? I've never seen it.
It sounds like a lot to remember, but you need to know this. It's more important, at the end of the day, to be breathing, than it is to score a fling. - 15437
About the Author:
Joseph Matthews has been instructing men how to meet women since 2004, and is widely recognized as an authority in the subject of confidence building and dating advice. If you want to learn more about how to meet women, check out his complimentary newsletter.
