An attractive young woman approaches you in a bar. Before you can figure out how it became your lucky night, you hear this: "Will you buy me a drink?"
Or maybe you are talking to a really stunner, or dancing, and you get a similar line, asking if you'll buy her one.
So how do you handle this situation? Buy her a drink or not? And what does one say in this regard?
If you've been around the block a little, you've probably come to realize that it's usually not a good idea to respond to these drink requests in a positive fashion. For many reasons...
1.) Club drinks are usually very expensive and will drain your wallet fast.
2.) She may not be attracted to you at all and simply be using you to finance her night out.
3.) She may already be out with a guy, and once she gets her drink, she returns to him and completely ignores you (it happens).
4.) Most importantly, buying her a drink runs the risk of framing your interaction as one where you're seeking her approval! You are the pursuer and she is the prize that must be won.
Hey, it could be that she really likes you. This may just be the way she's trying to meet you, and she could care less about the drink. Or you could feel some chemistry here after talking awhile. Mind you, this is possible, but not entirely probable.
Should you disregard any caution and buy her a drink in this case?
This creates a conundrum. If you protect yourself, how do you avoid looking like some cheapskate, ill mannered, or just strange? And how do you do it without making her take off?
The trick here is to turn the tables, and not make it about buying a drink to pick her up, but about her asking for a drink because she wants to pick YOU up!
This is a subtle difference. In one scenario, you're putting yourself at a disadvantage. In the other, you're making it so she has to prove to you she's worth your time and money.
So let's say the woman asks you "Will you buy me a drink?" Try smiling, tilting your head and saying, "I dunno. Last time I did that a woman tried to take advantage of me later."
This is important because you're not saying "Yes" or "No." You're steering the interaction in a different direction, one where you are in control.
The girl will either laugh, look at you funny, or ask you to tell the story. If she asks for a story, give her a good one. If not, say. "Think it'll work again this time?"
It's funny how often this creates a great situation for you. Many, many women say yes, and will often pull a chair to talk with you about it. If she says no, then tell her you appreciate her honesty, turn around and leave. Oddly enough, women like that tend to seek you out later in the evening.
But either way, you've changed the interaction to be beneficial to YOU, as opposed to the other way around. - 15437
Or maybe you are talking to a really stunner, or dancing, and you get a similar line, asking if you'll buy her one.
So how do you handle this situation? Buy her a drink or not? And what does one say in this regard?
If you've been around the block a little, you've probably come to realize that it's usually not a good idea to respond to these drink requests in a positive fashion. For many reasons...
1.) Club drinks are usually very expensive and will drain your wallet fast.
2.) She may not be attracted to you at all and simply be using you to finance her night out.
3.) She may already be out with a guy, and once she gets her drink, she returns to him and completely ignores you (it happens).
4.) Most importantly, buying her a drink runs the risk of framing your interaction as one where you're seeking her approval! You are the pursuer and she is the prize that must be won.
Hey, it could be that she really likes you. This may just be the way she's trying to meet you, and she could care less about the drink. Or you could feel some chemistry here after talking awhile. Mind you, this is possible, but not entirely probable.
Should you disregard any caution and buy her a drink in this case?
This creates a conundrum. If you protect yourself, how do you avoid looking like some cheapskate, ill mannered, or just strange? And how do you do it without making her take off?
The trick here is to turn the tables, and not make it about buying a drink to pick her up, but about her asking for a drink because she wants to pick YOU up!
This is a subtle difference. In one scenario, you're putting yourself at a disadvantage. In the other, you're making it so she has to prove to you she's worth your time and money.
So let's say the woman asks you "Will you buy me a drink?" Try smiling, tilting your head and saying, "I dunno. Last time I did that a woman tried to take advantage of me later."
This is important because you're not saying "Yes" or "No." You're steering the interaction in a different direction, one where you are in control.
The girl will either laugh, look at you funny, or ask you to tell the story. If she asks for a story, give her a good one. If not, say. "Think it'll work again this time?"
It's funny how often this creates a great situation for you. Many, many women say yes, and will often pull a chair to talk with you about it. If she says no, then tell her you appreciate her honesty, turn around and leave. Oddly enough, women like that tend to seek you out later in the evening.
But either way, you've changed the interaction to be beneficial to YOU, as opposed to the other way around. - 15437
About the Author:
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