Wednesday, March 4, 2009

How To Talk To A Woman On The Phone

By Joseph Matthews

Dating successfully is all about having good communication skills. The better you're able to communicate to the women you are attracted to, the better you are able to attract them!

And one of the most important forms of communicating is over the phone; perhaps it's the most important, even.

Until you start dating someone regularly, and seeing them face-to-face often, your primary tool to keep the bond between the two of you going is the TELEPHONE.

Without speaking to someone on the phone, it's going to be difficult to create the type of rapport necessary to sustain a relationship.

So having good phone skills is VITAL to success with women!

I speak from experience, that your phone presence can either RUIN you, or make you seem so confident, mysterious, and fun that she can't WAIT to go out with you.

Here is what you need to know to make a great impression on the phone, and keep her interested in you...

1.) Don't Be Nervous on the phone!

If you're nervous talking on the phone, that will cause you to let the conversation stall. She'll be able to tell if you're struggling to make chit-chat, and it'll hurt her impression of you.

The key here is to NOT BE NERVOUS when you call a girl! If you find yourself feeling the nerves before you call, take some time and calm yourself down. Take some deep breaths, listen to some soothing music, and remember that there are plenty of other girls out there if it doesn't work out with this one.

It's important to project the right attitude while one the phone. Being (and sounding) confident will always trump nervousness! So allow yourself to have fun and relax!

2.) Be ASSERTIVE When You Talk!

Most people MUMBLE and STUMBLE all over themselves with garbage like: "What'cha been doing?" Nothing bores a girl more than these boring, awkward questions.

If you rely on the girl to lead the conversation, you're going to find that the conversation will end quickly.

You have to be assertive in the conversation and steer it where you want it to go. Do NOT rely on her to carry this burden!

Have some topics you'd like to talk about before you call up. This will give you an idea of what to talk about if the conversation stalls. If she mentions something that interests you while talking, ask her about it in more detail.

Be active in making the conversation!

3.) Have a reason for calling!

Calling just for idle banter is a waste of time. While speaking with a woman should be fun, there should be a motive for you to call her.

There is a reason. You'd rather not have her think that you'll want to chat on the phone for 2 hours every time your name pops up on caller ID.

Know what goal you want to achieve with the phone call before you start dialing! Is it to set up a date? Is it to touch base? Is it to strengthen your rapport?

Having a reason for calling her will help you stay focused on your end goal.

4.) Don't ask, instead, INVITE!

When talking to a girl, the urge is to give her the last decision on what to do.

Saying something like "Are you busy Friday?" might sound reasonable to you, but you're still putting the burden on her to find the time to hang out with you!

Whenever you push a girl over the phone to meet up, you'll want to frame things as though you're inviting her to join you, rather than having her choose how to meet up with you.

And trust me - there IS a difference!

Saying "Would you like to hang out tomorrow night?" is much different than "I'm going to this really awesome bar tomorrow night to check out a killer band, would you like to come?"

Offering the girl you're talking to opportunities will motivate her to say "yes" more than if you asked her if she'd be willing to spend time with you.

5.) Be congruent with who you are!

When talking on the phone, there's an issue that comes up where we are different people than we are normally. Maybe we're a little more outgoing, or engaging, or funny, or whatever.

Keep in mind that in order for a date to be successful, you have to be CONSISTENT about who you are, so the girl can really get to know you.

Putting on an act while talking over the phone is a bad idea. Though you aren't face to face, you still shouldn't purposefully misrepresent yourself, and it can be detrimental to boot. If you act more genuine, it WILL show and your chance of success will be much higher.

Chatting on the phone is an unfortunate, albeit necessary, part of the dating game. Though you might not like to do it, and many don't, you'll find that doing it well will help you in the long run. You'll find many more women open to hanging out with you, that normally wouldn't be. - 15437

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