When we've broken up with our mate, we can get very desperate to get them back. We may try many things to get them back, and some of these attempts can actually ruin our chances and cause us to lose our mate for good.
The first big mistake that many people make is to apologize too much. You definitely may need to apologize, but saying "I'm sorry" til you're blue in the face doesn't work. If a sincere apology doesn't work, it's because there are things you need to do first, before you apologize.
If you have apologized and it hasn't gotten your ex to take you back, then you need to learn some basic emotional intelligence before you try apologizing again. Two steps you can take BEFORE you apologize are to own up to what you did wrong and then to let your ex vent in a particular way about how they feel about what you did wrong.
Obviously your ex has a heart, and obviously it is filled with bad or negative emotions about however you wronged or treated them. If it wasn't, they wouldn't have dumped you. So you need to learn how to get them to vent and release these bad feelings, so they can make room for good feelings about you again.
Another mistake to avoid is to come across as desperate and needy. When you first date someone, if they came across as desperate, would you want to date them again? For most of us, the answer is no. The same is true when getting your ex back. Texting your ex 20 times a day, stalking them by phone or in person, crying, promising you'll change can all come across as desperate and needy.
Yes, your heart is hurting. Yes, you feel desperate and needy. There is this large hole in your life that you want to fill with your ex. That's very understandable. However, you dont want to come across as needy. Keep your neediness to yourself as much as possible!
Come across as sad or sorry, depending on your situation, but don't come across as desperate and hopelessly lost. This just makes your ex pity you instead of want to take you back. It is okay to want your ex back. It is okay to apologize once or twice if you wronged them, and it is okay to tell them how much losing them has taught you valuable lessons.
So avoid endless apologies, and don't let them know how desperate and needy you may feel. If you can not make those two mistakes, you will help your chances of getting them back. - 15437
The first big mistake that many people make is to apologize too much. You definitely may need to apologize, but saying "I'm sorry" til you're blue in the face doesn't work. If a sincere apology doesn't work, it's because there are things you need to do first, before you apologize.
If you have apologized and it hasn't gotten your ex to take you back, then you need to learn some basic emotional intelligence before you try apologizing again. Two steps you can take BEFORE you apologize are to own up to what you did wrong and then to let your ex vent in a particular way about how they feel about what you did wrong.
Obviously your ex has a heart, and obviously it is filled with bad or negative emotions about however you wronged or treated them. If it wasn't, they wouldn't have dumped you. So you need to learn how to get them to vent and release these bad feelings, so they can make room for good feelings about you again.
Another mistake to avoid is to come across as desperate and needy. When you first date someone, if they came across as desperate, would you want to date them again? For most of us, the answer is no. The same is true when getting your ex back. Texting your ex 20 times a day, stalking them by phone or in person, crying, promising you'll change can all come across as desperate and needy.
Yes, your heart is hurting. Yes, you feel desperate and needy. There is this large hole in your life that you want to fill with your ex. That's very understandable. However, you dont want to come across as needy. Keep your neediness to yourself as much as possible!
Come across as sad or sorry, depending on your situation, but don't come across as desperate and hopelessly lost. This just makes your ex pity you instead of want to take you back. It is okay to want your ex back. It is okay to apologize once or twice if you wronged them, and it is okay to tell them how much losing them has taught you valuable lessons.
So avoid endless apologies, and don't let them know how desperate and needy you may feel. If you can not make those two mistakes, you will help your chances of getting them back. - 15437
About the Author:
You can discover Proven Reconnect Methods to get your ex back in a book about Get Your Ex Back In Just Hours. Johnnie S Laney teaches relationship and emotional intelligence courses and you can get the free course 7 Vital Relationship Insights You Never discovered In School here at Love Relationship Advice.
