It happens in a lot of relationships. One partner becomes too controlling and smothering of their mate. They demand to know where he/she was at all times. Tried to prevent them from spending time with their other friends. Tried to force them to spend all their free time together. In some cases, it gets even worse, requiring them to have dinner ready by certain times, laundry done in a certain way, etc.
This smothers your ex and at some point they give you the boot. What at first was kind of cute or a sign of affection becomes smothering and neurotic. Usually it is males that are too smothering, but it can be women as well. Your partner cant breathe and lose their love for you rather quickly. If they are healthy, they will show you the door and say thanks but no thanks.
So here you are all alone after being too controlling. You would love to get your ex back so you can do better and not make the same mistakes. What can you do?
Well, obviously it depends on how bad it got and how controlling you were. Sometimes you may have created too much damage. Often times you will need counseling and therapy before you get back into any relationship. Confusing love with power over and control is not healthy.
You may, however, get your ex back if you didn't cause irreparable harm. And that begins with seeing that power over and need and dominance are not the same as love and intimacy. If you see that controlling behaviors like keeping them from friends and making them account for their time away from you is not healthy, that is a good beginning.
The question is, did you learn something from the experience of being dumped by your mate. If so, that is something that can actually help you get your ex back.
The next step is to have a particular kind of apology conversation with your ex. Your behavior caused them damage. You will need to own up to the damage you caused. You will then need to let them vent, to listen as they let you know how what you did made them feel. Finally, you will need to convince them that you have learned from them and what they told you, and you wont repeat that behavior. If you can do those things, you may actually have a chance to get your ex back.
We don't have room for all the in depth details, but start with these two steps and you may be able to get them back. If you have learned from your mistakes and can convince them of that fact, they may be willing to try dating you again. - 15437
This smothers your ex and at some point they give you the boot. What at first was kind of cute or a sign of affection becomes smothering and neurotic. Usually it is males that are too smothering, but it can be women as well. Your partner cant breathe and lose their love for you rather quickly. If they are healthy, they will show you the door and say thanks but no thanks.
So here you are all alone after being too controlling. You would love to get your ex back so you can do better and not make the same mistakes. What can you do?
Well, obviously it depends on how bad it got and how controlling you were. Sometimes you may have created too much damage. Often times you will need counseling and therapy before you get back into any relationship. Confusing love with power over and control is not healthy.
You may, however, get your ex back if you didn't cause irreparable harm. And that begins with seeing that power over and need and dominance are not the same as love and intimacy. If you see that controlling behaviors like keeping them from friends and making them account for their time away from you is not healthy, that is a good beginning.
The question is, did you learn something from the experience of being dumped by your mate. If so, that is something that can actually help you get your ex back.
The next step is to have a particular kind of apology conversation with your ex. Your behavior caused them damage. You will need to own up to the damage you caused. You will then need to let them vent, to listen as they let you know how what you did made them feel. Finally, you will need to convince them that you have learned from them and what they told you, and you wont repeat that behavior. If you can do those things, you may actually have a chance to get your ex back.
We don't have room for all the in depth details, but start with these two steps and you may be able to get them back. If you have learned from your mistakes and can convince them of that fact, they may be willing to try dating you again. - 15437
About the Author:
You can discover more about how to fix the relationship problems caused by controlling behavior and how to get your ex back in a book about Get Your Ex Back Relationship Advice. John Laney teaches relationship and emotional intelligence courses and you can get the free course 7 Vital Relationship Insights You Never discovered In School here at Love Relationship Advice.
