You've broken up with your ex. A little time has passed and now you want to get your ex back. What relationship advice can help?
During your break up, feelings of anger or hatred or sadness replaced feelings of love and closeness, right? You started feeling angry or betrayed instead of loving and intimate. That's why you fought and had a break up. This happens every day all over the world.
However, after a few days or weeks of being broken up you calmed down. You started to miss your ex. Your angry or hurt feelings are getting replaced by other feelings. Notice this truth about emotions: intense feelings like anger change, they usually soften over time!
You understand this from your own life experiences. You've been mad at somebody at work and after a day or two the anger diminishes. You've been sad about something that happened to you and again, after just a day or two, it goes away. This is important Emotional Logic to notice. Feelings shift and are in flux for all of us.
Now that you've broken up and you want your ex back, you have experienced this first hand. During the break up, you were mad or hurt. Now, you notice feelings of longing and desire return. You'd like to give your relationship another chance. This may seem like Im stating the obvious, but there is a very important point here to notice about emotions. They change.
However, some feelings can take a while to change. They can get stuck. If your ex doesn't want to get back together with you, then they are still stuck with feelings of hurt or betrayal. For example, if you cheated on your ex, this brings up strong feelings in them that are hard to deal with. Your ex is likely still filled with powerful emoitons like sadness and shame or rage.
How then can you use Emotional Logic to help you to get back with your ex? One simple important thing you can do is to help them to get their negative feelings released and resolved. Help them to "vent" these feelings and get them off their chest. You did this by asking them in varioius ways how they feel about whatever you did that triggered the break up. "How are you feeling about what happened?" Then be silent and let them start to vent or spill their hurt feelings out.
Don't argue. Don't defend yourself. That just creates more argument. Instead, make them feel heard and understood. Ten minutes of venting can really help their negative feelings get released. Letting your ex vent all over you a time or two after a break up can help them to let go of anger and move back towards more kindly feelings towards you.
There's much more to it, but helping your ex to get things off their chest can be an important step in moving past the break up. Since we all know feelings change, you want their bad emotions around you to change and venting helps this to happen! - 15437
During your break up, feelings of anger or hatred or sadness replaced feelings of love and closeness, right? You started feeling angry or betrayed instead of loving and intimate. That's why you fought and had a break up. This happens every day all over the world.
However, after a few days or weeks of being broken up you calmed down. You started to miss your ex. Your angry or hurt feelings are getting replaced by other feelings. Notice this truth about emotions: intense feelings like anger change, they usually soften over time!
You understand this from your own life experiences. You've been mad at somebody at work and after a day or two the anger diminishes. You've been sad about something that happened to you and again, after just a day or two, it goes away. This is important Emotional Logic to notice. Feelings shift and are in flux for all of us.
Now that you've broken up and you want your ex back, you have experienced this first hand. During the break up, you were mad or hurt. Now, you notice feelings of longing and desire return. You'd like to give your relationship another chance. This may seem like Im stating the obvious, but there is a very important point here to notice about emotions. They change.
However, some feelings can take a while to change. They can get stuck. If your ex doesn't want to get back together with you, then they are still stuck with feelings of hurt or betrayal. For example, if you cheated on your ex, this brings up strong feelings in them that are hard to deal with. Your ex is likely still filled with powerful emoitons like sadness and shame or rage.
How then can you use Emotional Logic to help you to get back with your ex? One simple important thing you can do is to help them to get their negative feelings released and resolved. Help them to "vent" these feelings and get them off their chest. You did this by asking them in varioius ways how they feel about whatever you did that triggered the break up. "How are you feeling about what happened?" Then be silent and let them start to vent or spill their hurt feelings out.
Don't argue. Don't defend yourself. That just creates more argument. Instead, make them feel heard and understood. Ten minutes of venting can really help their negative feelings get released. Letting your ex vent all over you a time or two after a break up can help them to let go of anger and move back towards more kindly feelings towards you.
There's much more to it, but helping your ex to get things off their chest can be an important step in moving past the break up. Since we all know feelings change, you want their bad emotions around you to change and venting helps this to happen! - 15437
About the Author:
You can learn other proven ways to get your ex back in a book about Get Over A Break Up The Best Way. John Laney teaches relationship intelligence courses and you can get a free course here on 7 Vital Love Insights You Should Know.
