Once you become successful with women, you'll eventually come across one that you will want to have stick around. In fact, this might be the reason you got into the study of all this to begin with. Not every man wants a new woman to sleep with every night. A lot of guys want to find the truly unique, special girl that they feel is perfect for them.
With that, you need to know, as detailed as possible, what you are looking for in regards to this keeper. That way you can spot them.
Typically, this doesn't have anything to do with physical traits. Usually, you're already interested in her because you're physically attracted. The "Keeper" qualities are typically perosnality traits that you find appealing.
Things like - is she funny? Smart? Does she make you feel good? Are the two of you sexually compatible? Do you share the same beliefs and goals?
When you know exactly what you're looking for in an ideal mate, you'll be able to spot her when she comes along, so you're going to want to have some type of list that let's you know what you're looking for.
When you find a girl that you especially like, close to your ideal (very rarely, if ever, will you find a girl that meets ALL of your criteria), you should play a slightly different game than when you are when you're just trying to get a girl into bed.
If you sleep with this girl immediately, she is going to suspect that you are looking more for adventure and excitement than for stability, trust, and a longer relationship.
And for some people, establishing a relationship after a one night-stand can be very hard. Why is this? Because if you slept together the first night you met, even if you do get into some kind of relationship, as soon as she goes out with her friends or you go out with your friends, the issue of trust is going to rear its ugly head.
How can she trust that you are not going to cheat on her? How can you trust her that she won't cheat on you? So trust is going to be very difficult to establish fully, and trust is a crucial thing in long term relationships!
So I'm going to give you some advice about this problem. When you meet a girl you want to keep, a girl that you want for a relationship, don't sleep with her that same night. Instead, just kiss her, or take her phone number after you have built rapport with her and then meet her some other day.
You can build a relationship from a one night stand though. You need to make sure that you aren't too aggressive. A low key, attentive approach is far better. Make love to her; not just wild sex.
I recommend more cuddling, as well as keeping eye contact longer while having sex. If you can, really try and give her a lot of orgasms. The more pleasure she experiences, the better. It will improve the odds that she wants to come back, and let her know you enjoy her company and care for her.
Another thing to be aware of if you're taking it slow - do not engage in straight intercourse the first time you're with her. Instead, focus on other aspects of lovemaking, like foreplay, heavy petting, and other techniques. Holding off on the full-on act of sex will show her that you're different from the others, and you want it to be something special.
When it comes to long term, healthy relationships, sex is the first thing that must be mastered. Having a healthy sex life will make the relationship a strong one.
After that comes the harder aspects - trust, comfort, and communication.
It's important that you trust and feel comfortable around your partner. In fact, these two things usually go hand-in-hand. The more you trust someone, the more comfortable you are around them, and vice versa.
Trust comes from being honest with your partner, and comfort comes from demonstrating understanding and compassion.
But no ammount of sex, trust, or comfort is going to happen without communication. This is the most important factor in keeping a girl for the long term.
Good communication is critical, because communication is what creates intimacy between two people. Being able to share one's hopes, dreams, fears, insecurities, bad days, and good days - this all goes towards creating strong bonds that last a lifetime.
When it comes to communication, remember one thing: it's about both of you. Not just your emotions, desires, and thoughts. It's about hers too, and if you neglect her, you'll find the emotional connection you've built will undoubtably fade. If she strays after that, I wouldn't be surprised.
Be conscious of what she is trying to communicate to you. Try to be open to it. If you can, keeping her should be much easier. - 15437
With that, you need to know, as detailed as possible, what you are looking for in regards to this keeper. That way you can spot them.
Typically, this doesn't have anything to do with physical traits. Usually, you're already interested in her because you're physically attracted. The "Keeper" qualities are typically perosnality traits that you find appealing.
Things like - is she funny? Smart? Does she make you feel good? Are the two of you sexually compatible? Do you share the same beliefs and goals?
When you know exactly what you're looking for in an ideal mate, you'll be able to spot her when she comes along, so you're going to want to have some type of list that let's you know what you're looking for.
When you find a girl that you especially like, close to your ideal (very rarely, if ever, will you find a girl that meets ALL of your criteria), you should play a slightly different game than when you are when you're just trying to get a girl into bed.
If you sleep with this girl immediately, she is going to suspect that you are looking more for adventure and excitement than for stability, trust, and a longer relationship.
And for some people, establishing a relationship after a one night-stand can be very hard. Why is this? Because if you slept together the first night you met, even if you do get into some kind of relationship, as soon as she goes out with her friends or you go out with your friends, the issue of trust is going to rear its ugly head.
How can she trust that you are not going to cheat on her? How can you trust her that she won't cheat on you? So trust is going to be very difficult to establish fully, and trust is a crucial thing in long term relationships!
So I'm going to give you some advice about this problem. When you meet a girl you want to keep, a girl that you want for a relationship, don't sleep with her that same night. Instead, just kiss her, or take her phone number after you have built rapport with her and then meet her some other day.
You can build a relationship from a one night stand though. You need to make sure that you aren't too aggressive. A low key, attentive approach is far better. Make love to her; not just wild sex.
I recommend more cuddling, as well as keeping eye contact longer while having sex. If you can, really try and give her a lot of orgasms. The more pleasure she experiences, the better. It will improve the odds that she wants to come back, and let her know you enjoy her company and care for her.
Another thing to be aware of if you're taking it slow - do not engage in straight intercourse the first time you're with her. Instead, focus on other aspects of lovemaking, like foreplay, heavy petting, and other techniques. Holding off on the full-on act of sex will show her that you're different from the others, and you want it to be something special.
When it comes to long term, healthy relationships, sex is the first thing that must be mastered. Having a healthy sex life will make the relationship a strong one.
After that comes the harder aspects - trust, comfort, and communication.
It's important that you trust and feel comfortable around your partner. In fact, these two things usually go hand-in-hand. The more you trust someone, the more comfortable you are around them, and vice versa.
Trust comes from being honest with your partner, and comfort comes from demonstrating understanding and compassion.
But no ammount of sex, trust, or comfort is going to happen without communication. This is the most important factor in keeping a girl for the long term.
Good communication is critical, because communication is what creates intimacy between two people. Being able to share one's hopes, dreams, fears, insecurities, bad days, and good days - this all goes towards creating strong bonds that last a lifetime.
When it comes to communication, remember one thing: it's about both of you. Not just your emotions, desires, and thoughts. It's about hers too, and if you neglect her, you'll find the emotional connection you've built will undoubtably fade. If she strays after that, I wouldn't be surprised.
Be conscious of what she is trying to communicate to you. Try to be open to it. If you can, keeping her should be much easier. - 15437
About the Author:
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