Dating on the internet is one of the most popular things to do online. Why is this? Because online dating is EASY. You browse until you find someone you like, then you shoot them an email.
That becomes part of the problem - guys generally write the same stuff to women over and over again. The same lines are used ad infinitum, and they are BORING.
You have to remember, women get enormous amounts of emails from guys on these sites, especially if they are attractive. To separate yourself from these other drones, you had better say something that stands out from them.
Here are 6 things you should avoid saying at all cost to a woman, because they will make you look like every other lame schmoe out there trying to get a date.
NEVER SAY: "I just came across your profile"
This line has been used over and over and over again, and its boring. It will do nothing to engage the girl you're writing to or make you stand out from the other losers who are emailing her.
Remember - EVERY guy tends to say stuff like this.
And the worst thing is - you are stating the obvious! Of course you came across her profile, otherwise you wouldn't be emailing her, would you?
NEVER SAY: "I figure that I probably won't hear from you, but..."
This is a sure-fire way to never hear back from a girl, because you come off as insecure and lacking in confidence.
Understand that confidence is the number one thing that attracts women, Therefore, by saying this, you're doing THE EXACT OPPOSITE of the thing which attracts women.
Instead, turn it around. Say something like "I can't wait to hear back from you - but I'm super busy, so please be patient if I don't get back to you right away."
NEVER SAY: "I'm not what you're looking for, but..."
Let's be clear - self sabotage is never good! You may think you're being endearing by stating you're not what she's looking for, but in her mind she's thinking "Uh genius, then why are you even writing me?"
If you're going to write a women who's looking for something you're not, go in with confidence.
You can't email a woman thinking you're not going to get a response. That's a waste of your time AND hers!
Just assume that you are what she is looking for, despite what her profile might say.
NEVER SAY: "If you decide not to write me back, can you please take a minute and tell me why?"
This statement has the underlying assumption that she is going to reject you. To boot, it sounds desperate.
Not only that, but you're also asking her to bad-mouth you and point out what's wrong with you TO YOUR FACE!
That is not healthy, and it doesn't build confidence.
Most of the time, women don't reply to online dating emails because they're not paying to be a member of the site, and CAN'T respond even if they want to.
If you don't hear back from a girl, don't linger on it. There are plenty more women to contact who WILL respond back.
NEVER SAY: "Would you like to join our swingers group sometime?"
Ok, for real, if I even have to explain why this is so wrong.... forget it.
If you are in a swingers group and looking for a girl to take along, there are SPECIFIC websites to find girls who are into that. Saying anything overtly sexual or off-the-wall right off the bat is not a good way to start things off.
Focus on being funny, charming, and engaging. Not a creep. Women get too much of that already from being online.
NEVER SAY: "I wanted to see if there was more to you than just another pretty face."
Can you say "cliche?" I know you can! This is probably one of the most used lines by guys trolling online dating sites. Seriously, guys think they're being clever by issuing a "challenge" like this, but it's just as bad as saying "Can I buy you a drink?" at a bar.
Its true, you should try and challenge every girl you contact to engage with you, but the best way to do that is to be funny and interesting, not cliche!
So you could say something like "Okay, did you hire someone to write your profile for you, because you seem to be too good to be true. You're not really a creepy guy with acne who lives in his parent's basement, are you?"
See how much better that is?
Online dating success is all about making yourself stand out from the other guys on there. Read your emails and ask yourself "does this seem like what every other guy would be writing?" If yes, then definitely change it!
Do so and watch the difference in the responses. It's nothing short of incredible. - 15437
That becomes part of the problem - guys generally write the same stuff to women over and over again. The same lines are used ad infinitum, and they are BORING.
You have to remember, women get enormous amounts of emails from guys on these sites, especially if they are attractive. To separate yourself from these other drones, you had better say something that stands out from them.
Here are 6 things you should avoid saying at all cost to a woman, because they will make you look like every other lame schmoe out there trying to get a date.
NEVER SAY: "I just came across your profile"
This line has been used over and over and over again, and its boring. It will do nothing to engage the girl you're writing to or make you stand out from the other losers who are emailing her.
Remember - EVERY guy tends to say stuff like this.
And the worst thing is - you are stating the obvious! Of course you came across her profile, otherwise you wouldn't be emailing her, would you?
NEVER SAY: "I figure that I probably won't hear from you, but..."
This is a sure-fire way to never hear back from a girl, because you come off as insecure and lacking in confidence.
Understand that confidence is the number one thing that attracts women, Therefore, by saying this, you're doing THE EXACT OPPOSITE of the thing which attracts women.
Instead, turn it around. Say something like "I can't wait to hear back from you - but I'm super busy, so please be patient if I don't get back to you right away."
NEVER SAY: "I'm not what you're looking for, but..."
Let's be clear - self sabotage is never good! You may think you're being endearing by stating you're not what she's looking for, but in her mind she's thinking "Uh genius, then why are you even writing me?"
If you're going to write a women who's looking for something you're not, go in with confidence.
You can't email a woman thinking you're not going to get a response. That's a waste of your time AND hers!
Just assume that you are what she is looking for, despite what her profile might say.
NEVER SAY: "If you decide not to write me back, can you please take a minute and tell me why?"
This statement has the underlying assumption that she is going to reject you. To boot, it sounds desperate.
Not only that, but you're also asking her to bad-mouth you and point out what's wrong with you TO YOUR FACE!
That is not healthy, and it doesn't build confidence.
Most of the time, women don't reply to online dating emails because they're not paying to be a member of the site, and CAN'T respond even if they want to.
If you don't hear back from a girl, don't linger on it. There are plenty more women to contact who WILL respond back.
NEVER SAY: "Would you like to join our swingers group sometime?"
Ok, for real, if I even have to explain why this is so wrong.... forget it.
If you are in a swingers group and looking for a girl to take along, there are SPECIFIC websites to find girls who are into that. Saying anything overtly sexual or off-the-wall right off the bat is not a good way to start things off.
Focus on being funny, charming, and engaging. Not a creep. Women get too much of that already from being online.
NEVER SAY: "I wanted to see if there was more to you than just another pretty face."
Can you say "cliche?" I know you can! This is probably one of the most used lines by guys trolling online dating sites. Seriously, guys think they're being clever by issuing a "challenge" like this, but it's just as bad as saying "Can I buy you a drink?" at a bar.
Its true, you should try and challenge every girl you contact to engage with you, but the best way to do that is to be funny and interesting, not cliche!
So you could say something like "Okay, did you hire someone to write your profile for you, because you seem to be too good to be true. You're not really a creepy guy with acne who lives in his parent's basement, are you?"
See how much better that is?
Online dating success is all about making yourself stand out from the other guys on there. Read your emails and ask yourself "does this seem like what every other guy would be writing?" If yes, then definitely change it!
Do so and watch the difference in the responses. It's nothing short of incredible. - 15437
About the Author:
Joseph Matthews has been teaching guys how to meet women since 2004, and is widely known as an expert in the field of confidence building and dating advice. If you want to learn more about how to meet women, check out his free newsletter.
