Monday, February 9, 2009

Get Your Ex Back When You've Been Too Needy

By Johnnie S Laney

Many people get kicked out of relationships for being too needy. Needing all their mates time, calling them ten times a day, asking for their opinion on every little thing. You can show up as too weak and helpless.

These kinds of behavior can drag down a relationship to the point where, over time, your mate feels that you are too much of a burden. When this happens, you will usually get the boot. Sorry, but you arent the one for me, the maybe we can be friends talk.

Now, if this has happened to you, you aren't alone. It is a common thing in a lot of relationships. Consider it to be a learning experience.

But now you want your ex back. Now you've learned something and want another chance. Is it possible to get them back after getting the boot for being too needy?

Yes, you can get your mate back, although it may not be too easy. The very first thing you need to do is understand that being clingy and weak and helpless cost you your relationship. Men like to help some, but they generally back away from clingy emotional messes.

So ask yourself, have you changed? Can you be more independent and less clingy? If you aren't sure, go get some coaching. There's no shame in it, and it isn't that hard to learn to develop healthier boundaries in your love life.

The next big step is to let your ex know that you have changed. This, of course, is where it gets tricky. You can do this in several ways. One direct method is to call them and tell them what you've learned about healthy boundaries. Convince them that you won't need to call them ten times a day while they are at work. If they understand that you have learned from the experience, they can begin to want you back.

Another method to convince them you've changed is to use the weekly chat technique. Here you call them every week or so to "catch up." During these calls, you share stores form your life about ways you are solving your own problems and being more independent. This can cause them to gain a new respect for you, and create an opening to start dating again after several weeks of these kinds of calls.

There is much more to getting back with your ex after being too needy. But these are some ways to begin to get them back. - 15437

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