What can you do when your ex cheated on you, you kicked them out, and now you want them back? This is a big problem in the area of relationships. You get mad, you feel hurt and betrayed, but after a few days or so you want your ex to come back to you.
Is there a way to get them back and yet stop infidelity from occurring again? Is there a way to get them back and keep your dignity? After all, they cheated on you, so if you just take them back you can end up dealing with the same problem just down the road. You want them back, but you don't want any more infidelity.
What can you do? Well, there are a few very powerful steps you can take to get your ex back and keep them from cheating on you again. The first step is to have a short, special conversation with them where you set them up to listen to you. You do this by assuring them that you arent going to attack or fight with them, so they just need to listen, not argue or defend or attack.
Once you have done this, you then need to tell them how theyre cheating made you feel. You then vent all of your hurt feelings. Try not to attack, but use I Statements. I feel hurt. I feel betrayed. I feel like I cant trust you again.
You focus on communicating feelings not judgments and criticisms. The critical point is to vent your hurt feelings and to be heard by your partner. This allows you to begin to get those feelings off your chest and release them. You then have room for true forgiveness and a better relationship going forward.
Once you have vented for a while, then you can check to see if your mate understands how they made you feel. If they have empathized, if they have heard you, then you will likely feel much more ready to forgive. You then ask them if they can promise not to do that again, and if they say yes, you can explore taking them back into your life.
So the critical point is to not attack your ex, but create a short period of time where they can listen to the pain they caused you. This is much more important than trying to attack or harangue them about what they did. When they can listen to you vent, you will begin to feel better and more able to forgive.
There is a lot more to this, but just observing these few steps will help you to resolve some of your negative feelings and move back towards forgiveness and love. With some additional emotional intelligence, you can eventually make your relationship even stronger than before! - 15437
Is there a way to get them back and yet stop infidelity from occurring again? Is there a way to get them back and keep your dignity? After all, they cheated on you, so if you just take them back you can end up dealing with the same problem just down the road. You want them back, but you don't want any more infidelity.
What can you do? Well, there are a few very powerful steps you can take to get your ex back and keep them from cheating on you again. The first step is to have a short, special conversation with them where you set them up to listen to you. You do this by assuring them that you arent going to attack or fight with them, so they just need to listen, not argue or defend or attack.
Once you have done this, you then need to tell them how theyre cheating made you feel. You then vent all of your hurt feelings. Try not to attack, but use I Statements. I feel hurt. I feel betrayed. I feel like I cant trust you again.
You focus on communicating feelings not judgments and criticisms. The critical point is to vent your hurt feelings and to be heard by your partner. This allows you to begin to get those feelings off your chest and release them. You then have room for true forgiveness and a better relationship going forward.
Once you have vented for a while, then you can check to see if your mate understands how they made you feel. If they have empathized, if they have heard you, then you will likely feel much more ready to forgive. You then ask them if they can promise not to do that again, and if they say yes, you can explore taking them back into your life.
So the critical point is to not attack your ex, but create a short period of time where they can listen to the pain they caused you. This is much more important than trying to attack or harangue them about what they did. When they can listen to you vent, you will begin to feel better and more able to forgive.
There is a lot more to this, but just observing these few steps will help you to resolve some of your negative feelings and move back towards forgiveness and love. With some additional emotional intelligence, you can eventually make your relationship even stronger than before! - 15437
About the Author:
You can learn more about how to get your ex back and recover from cheating in a book about Win Back Your Ex. Johnnie S Laney teaches emotional and relationship intelligence courses and you can get a free course here on Help Your Relationship
