Sunday, December 21, 2008

Tips on Getting Married and Staying Married

By Donny Yu

If you are in need of marriage advice, chances are that you have begun to encounter problems in your marriage. There are going to be ups and downs in any relationship. This is normal, as well as healthy. Arguments will happen, as it is a natural part of communication. However, arguments become a problem when there is no resolution to the topics that are brought up.

This is where marriage advice can be extremely useful. By learning from the mistakes and efforts of others, you can build your relationship with your spouse without having to go through all of the pitfalls many couples have to face. However, taking advice does not make up for learning the tough lessons the hard way - through experiencing them. As a couple, experiencing the downs of a relationship can forge a stronger bond between you and your spouse.

Good marriage advice will consist of several things. First, it will not be judgmental. Judgmental advice does no good, as it is biased and condescending. If you try to relay such advice to your spouse, the judgmental attitude will come across, and it will only make the problem worse. In addition to this, the advice will be neutral. It will take no side, and come from a perspective that neither supports or decries either party. Arguments occur because something cannot be agreed upon. Many times, there is truth to both sides of the argument. This can make sorting out the problem very challenging.

Marriage advice can be difficult to accept. As each couple is different, what works for one couple may not work for another. This means that you have to be careful which marriage advice you use in your relationship. What you opt to do for your relationship can have many consequences, among which is potentially divorce. If you're having difficult times with your spouse, you need to carefully count all aspects of the problem before any advice is accepted.

If you are in a position where you want to give marriage advice to someone, there is a simple rule that you should try to follow. Don't give advice unless it is asked for. While you may genuinely care for the person you want to give marriage advice to, they may not be receptive to the information you want to give them and choose to disregard you. Worse, some people may become distress or insulted by interference when they are not ready to obtain help, which can ruin a friendship. - 15437

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