Saturday, December 27, 2008

Making First Date Right: Helpful Tips for Men

By Desmond Ray

Women are unpredictable beings, and even a thought about first date makes majority of men tremble either from agitation, or from fear of being unfit, or both. What line of behavior one should take? Being like a medieval chevalier, confident and benevolent master of his fiefdom, or like a man appreciating the liberties of modern society, who is treating his lady as an equal? Where is this thin line which divides goodness from awkwardness, attraction from repulsion? Here are seven useful tips, which I would like to share with you:

Tip 1: Plan everything ahead. All elements of your date program (yes, program), must be well thought. Moreover, it is better to have two options for her choice, just in case if she do not want to go with you to A, offer her to go to B. Rely on what you know about her: if you met her online, then knowing her profile and her own words from your online exchange will guide you. Still, remember that she has never seen you before, so dont try to freak her out: meeting in remote parks, cemeteries (even historical) and abandoned warehouses must be out of question. The meeting place must be nice, cozy and reasonably crowded. Museum (or something similar) would be a good choice, you will be surrounded by beautiful objects and you will have a decent chance to talk. From there you can offer next stop at a restaurant, or wherever you have planned the next stop.

Tip 2. By no means do not get late. According to modern psychology an opinion about person is formed over the first 15 seconds of a meeting. Do not let her to spend these 15 seconds just dully waiting for you. Women hate when someone makes them wait (I made this rhythmic by a coincidence, but it is still a great truth about women). No, you do not want her to stay there and think about those million useful things, which she could do instead of waiting for you. So, just do not be late, period.

Tip 3: Your external appearance must be more than just spotless. I am sure you know that without me, but just let me to emphasize this fact, which is never enough to emphasize: you must look great! You better look like you just stepped from a front cover of a fashion magazine (or, at least, try to approach this state as much as you can). After spending at least two hours before mirror she wants to find signs of a similar commitment in you. So do not disappoint her: your attire, your shoes, your fragrance, even the teeth in your smile, everything will be considered over those 15 seconds, which you must win!

Tip 4: Flowers and Flowers only! Rings of pearls (better saltwater), diamonds and everything made out of gold is what 98% of women want to get from you, but do not make this to happen on the first date. Just keep this in mind for the future. On the first date bring her one red rose (or, maybe a dozen, but not overdo it); so she will know that the man she just met has a great taste and is worth (hopefully) to be seen again.

Tip 5: Be gentleman. Just keep it old-fashioned way: open doors before her, let her first to the table, pool out a chair for her, etc. If you will have a chance helping her to take off (or put on) her coat: do not miss it, this is a chance to give her a hug, a small step in the right direction. So, the bottom line: be a gentleman, do not fear to be perceived as one: even a hard core feminist will appreciate your efforts.

Tip 6. Be generous with compliments. This is what every woman would love and will expect from you. Your first words (after the formal intro) should be in any way saying how great, gorgeous, fantastic she looks. In a sense this is one of the tasks which you have to perform over all meeting: finding right moments and giving right compliments any time you have a chance. Your effort will be always appreciated.

Tip 7. Listen more, talk less. Surely she wants to know about you, but even more she wants you to know about her. So allow her to open herself, speak less, listen more. Help her with nodding and short ones, like: I see; Sure; Interesting, etc. If there will be your turn, do not talk much and by all means avoid saying anything about past wives and lovers, health issues, work problems and religion. Your task is to find a topic of common interest and help her to develop it. Show her good sense of humor and leave her to some degree intrigued about you, so there will be something to speak about at the next, and then the next, and then on the following dates, which must happen (or, at least, will be up to you) if you would follow all these tips. - 15437

About the Author: