As reported by the Associated Press, nearly one in four men cheat on their wives. Despite the effects of an affair having long-lasting and damaging effects on the relationship, there is normally a motivating factor for a man to cheat. In no way does the presence of a motivator excuse the affair itself, but drilling down to the reason why a man might cheat can help women deal with the after-effects of an affair and, possibly, avoid becoming victims of an affair altogether.
Understanding the blueprint of a relationship would extend well beyond the scope of this article, but there are a couple of quick and clear essentials. The first would be that both spouses expect a certain level of attention from the other. In a relationship, salary, culinary skills, and style matter very little; stop paying attention to your partner and you will see just how little these things matter! In fact, when spouses stop paying attention to the other, chances of an affair increase exponentially. On the other hand, too much attention can also have a negative impact and come across as too needy.
Admiration is the next basic commitment motivators. While both spouses share this need, the man usually has a greater need for admiration. When a woman's admiration for her husband dies (or fades considerably), the man will have a heightened sensitivity to the admiration of another woman. Of course, admiration can present itself in a variety of ways and does not suggestion a woman should transform herself into a dedicated slave to her husband's every need. Instead, the absence of nagging or complaining can enhance existing signs of admiration.
So, when a man cheats, what does that mean? Some introspection is in order; have we provided the proper amount of admiration, respect, and attention? A good question considering that cheating men will claim victimized by their wife's lack of admiration, attention, and respect. So, if men felt that they received the right amount of these, would they stop cheating?
It seems unlikely that affairs could ever disappear entirely. Men might cheat simply because they understand just how loyal wives are in general (in comparison to men, only 14% of women admit to having an affair). In fact, women are usually so loyal to their men that they are unlikely to leave after their partner admits to an affair provided that the partner expresses a need for the woman. Blame it on motherly instinct, but women are seen as more forgiving (and, let's face it, with divorce numbers as high they are, forgiveness is a trait we can all learn).
Now, forgiveness does not mean tolerance of affairs. Instead, by gaining awareness about infidelity, we may succeed in keeping our spouses satisfied emotionally and eliminating or at least reducing the need that men feel to seek attention, respect, and admiration elsewhere. Although no relationship can claim to be perfect, almost all of them can be made better with a small investment of effort from both parties. By increasing our attention level (such as spending more time with our spouse and taking an interest in their lives), by showing signs of admiration (such as thanking them for their contributions even if they fall short) and, finally, by showing greater respect (such as understanding our spouse is an emotional being and deserves respect) we can expect an improvement to the quality of the relationship as we see it. - 15437
Understanding the blueprint of a relationship would extend well beyond the scope of this article, but there are a couple of quick and clear essentials. The first would be that both spouses expect a certain level of attention from the other. In a relationship, salary, culinary skills, and style matter very little; stop paying attention to your partner and you will see just how little these things matter! In fact, when spouses stop paying attention to the other, chances of an affair increase exponentially. On the other hand, too much attention can also have a negative impact and come across as too needy.
Admiration is the next basic commitment motivators. While both spouses share this need, the man usually has a greater need for admiration. When a woman's admiration for her husband dies (or fades considerably), the man will have a heightened sensitivity to the admiration of another woman. Of course, admiration can present itself in a variety of ways and does not suggestion a woman should transform herself into a dedicated slave to her husband's every need. Instead, the absence of nagging or complaining can enhance existing signs of admiration.
So, when a man cheats, what does that mean? Some introspection is in order; have we provided the proper amount of admiration, respect, and attention? A good question considering that cheating men will claim victimized by their wife's lack of admiration, attention, and respect. So, if men felt that they received the right amount of these, would they stop cheating?
It seems unlikely that affairs could ever disappear entirely. Men might cheat simply because they understand just how loyal wives are in general (in comparison to men, only 14% of women admit to having an affair). In fact, women are usually so loyal to their men that they are unlikely to leave after their partner admits to an affair provided that the partner expresses a need for the woman. Blame it on motherly instinct, but women are seen as more forgiving (and, let's face it, with divorce numbers as high they are, forgiveness is a trait we can all learn).
Now, forgiveness does not mean tolerance of affairs. Instead, by gaining awareness about infidelity, we may succeed in keeping our spouses satisfied emotionally and eliminating or at least reducing the need that men feel to seek attention, respect, and admiration elsewhere. Although no relationship can claim to be perfect, almost all of them can be made better with a small investment of effort from both parties. By increasing our attention level (such as spending more time with our spouse and taking an interest in their lives), by showing signs of admiration (such as thanking them for their contributions even if they fall short) and, finally, by showing greater respect (such as understanding our spouse is an emotional being and deserves respect) we can expect an improvement to the quality of the relationship as we see it. - 15437
About the Author:
For a detailed understanding of how relationships work, get your full package at Help Get My Ex Back. Samantha Fulcher provides relationship advice for The Match Maker Review.
