Thursday, November 6, 2008

Eliminate Wedding Speech Jitters

By Jayelle Finch

You've just been asked to make a wedding toast at a special friend's wedding. It's a wonderful honor to be asked but you have never paid attention to what people actually say during wedding speeches. You also are more afraid of public speaking than rattlesnakes, earthquakes and broccoli soup with quiche combined.

What did catch you by surprise when he told you about his wedding plans was that he wants you to make a wedding toast at the reception, one of your duties as his best man.

So after you get that cold sweat under control, where do you start when writing and delivering a wedding toast? How do you harness the jitters and use them to your advantage. What on earth do you say, you who are known as the strong, silent type?

Learn from these suggestions on how to make an excellent wedding toast.

- The key to success is starting early and being totally prepared. Do your research by talking with others who have given wedding toasts and check out web sources and library books too. Don't go with "off-the-cuff" remarks. They simply won't cut it when the time comes, trust me!

- Face the fear and use it. It's only energy after all! When making a wedding toast, it can be very valuable to have extra energy at hand that you can use to captivate your audience and make your wedding toast memorable. A speech without the energy of performance anxiety is lacklustre and totally lacking in passion.

- Just as a Pulitzer novel doesn't just fly off the screen onto the best- seller list, accept that you will need to write and rewrite your wedding toast. Leave some time between writing and looking at it again. You will be surprised at how you will spot things you need to change. You will know when you have it just the way you want it.

- A bit of laughter, some smiles, these are what you are aiming for when you use humor in a wedding speech. Never tell intimate stories, use crude language or off-color jokes. Never!

- Take a stroll down memory lane. Recount how you met the groom, about a shared experience or two. Say what a super guy he is. In your wedding toast, compliment his choice of bride and comment about the wonderful future you believe they will have together. Today's the day you can wear your heart on your sleeve.

- Short and sweet. Don't be tempted to go longer than five minutes max for your wedding toast.

- Practice makes perfect. Practice your wedding toast in front of a full-length mirror and time it, allowing moments for audience response.

- Testing, one, two. If at all possible, find a few minutes before the reception starts to stand at the mike where you will be giving your wedding speech. Get a feel for the room from this point of view. Practice delivering to the audience, using eye contact with a few friendly faces or if looking directly at people makes you nervous, aim slightly over their heads.

- Raise a glass. This is the actual toast of the wedding toast. Make eye contact with the bride and groom when you toast them. Lift your arm from the shoulder, toast with a full glass. This takes place at the very end of your wedding speech.

- Hug the groom and the bride at the conclusion of your wedding toast and then take your seat. Job well done! - 15437

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